Infinite Other

by The Fourth Wall

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1.
I don’t wanna be with you I would rather just be you instead I wouldn’t feel this ugliness When I use your eye to look into myself I’m never coming out of this I’m never gonna get what I would give Circular ruins I’ll assess the damages As soon as I forget what damage is Circular ruins I don’t wanna hear your thoughts I would rather think them for myself Sculpted in the image of All the ways that I would not become In order to have all my love Occupy the space from which it comes Circular ruins Cavorting with the negative It’s where I feel the kiss that I would give Circular ruins I know a way to love you more With love from the other side Forgetting it was ever at all So this is how I disappear To be myself I must be someone else What better one than yours, my dear No other’s skin is soft as death’s caress
2.
Afterimage 05:11
I felt your touch glide across the lens Of the eye, the apparatus, of the gaze Did you pause at the image I left How could one ever know I say your name just to break the silence As you appear, the clock strikes a nerve I am the surface for your manifest destiny You hold me underneath your waters Only your image is I was the aftermath After your lights all go away I am what’s left My love, when we exchange signifiers The apparatus reloads and then fires You are my secret kept secret from myself If I could hear what you withdraw from saying I felt your touch glide across the lens By your gaze I’m composed and undone Material for the production of difference The machine approaches from all directions Only your images I was the aftermath When the blue glow cascades away I am what’s left
3.
Infinite Other hold me in your arms There’s spectral compositions still to be undone Information loves no remainders in the bed Where the things that I can’t say must be left unsaid I tried to love another, all I felt was your caress At my body’s only border, where your hands decide to press If all there is Is a way of being seen I disappear into the eyes I disappear I reach out to touch you and discover you’re too close My petals peel away in the presence of your glow Infinite Other take me to your place of rest I thought I lived for nothing, but it was always something less If all there is Is a way of being seen I disappear into the eyes I disappear I disappear into the eyes I’m a way of being seen I disappear into the eyes of the machine I disappear into the scene I’m disappearing all the time But I loved you in between I disappear
4.
Golden Mean 04:34
Lead me to your door Show me your golden mean But if I love you too much, babe You might turn into me Just stay with me a while While the pleasure is still new ‘Cause when I turn into you I won’t forgive the things I do I’m shipwrecked on your shore Drag my driftwood through your sea Show me your horizons The ones I’ll never reach You’re laughing at my jokes I’m trembling to your tune But don’t love me too much, babe I might turn into you
5.
I saw my longing In the capillary sky Exposed itself to me In streaks of red and white I saw my longing Play shadows with its hands To the darkening lands, I gave everything I had I saw my longing In the hollow of your eyes Ghastly apparitions Who’ve come to spend the night My longing caught me Caresses from the law Who knows who I am When no one can recall Who is here with me Who sees all that I see Who’s mind is on my mind Who is here with me Whose mouth has run amok Who has learned my secret tongue Who has learned my secret tongue
6.
Will you comfort me when I lose everything When judgement day will find me in the weeds When all my friends will turn their backs on me Will you comfort me when I lose everything All these instruments of confession Weren’t as sexy as they seemed I was under the impression That they’d like to know my dreams Now they’re being presented To an anonymous jury Will you comfort me when I lose everything You don’t wanna know who is coming after me The father, son, and collection agencies Will you comfort me when I lose everything I would have bit the bullet If they didn’t own my teeth Will you love me once I’m ruined By juridical machines Eternal apparatus Chewing on his pound of flesh Will you comfort me when I lose everything Will you comfort me when I lose everything Will you comfort me when I lose everything Will you comfort me when I lose everything
7.
You are the I thrown ahead of me The most beautiful being Invisible hand came and picked you up And cast you into the sea Your world calls to me It turns all my leaves The crimson I see When you look at me Undoing all I see I am not sure what I’m supposed to feel When I think of you now Invisible hand with a gift of death To be placed in my head Nothing is free Nothing is me It takes just to take Till it takes everything My liquified dream Stream in and through me Till the shame will outlive me You are the world where I wish I could be You are the words I wish I could mean You are the fruit I’m tempted to eat Thorn in my side, pain and my pride You are the void in the system of signs You are the truth with something to hide Will you take my place when I go away Will you take my place when I go away Will you take my place
8.
I’ve lived and I’ve died too many times In life-like bodies on the outside There was nothing as real in real life As a phrase I should say or a memory of you I’ve lived and I’ve died far too many times In the arms of a god with your hair and eyes.

credits

released August 17, 2018

All music written by The Fourth Wall / All Lyrics written by Stephen Agustin

The Fourth Wall:
Stephen Agustin: Vocals, Guitars, Piano, Noises, Samples
Kasey Shun: Guitars, Noises
Chris Lau: Bass Guitar, Baritone Guitar
Andrew White: Drums, Samples

Additional Players:
Max Lilien: Drums (When I Lose Everything, Echo of Erasure)
Elise Wong: Violin (I Saw My Longing, Mirror of This Dawn)
Knate Carter: Vibraphone (When I Lose Everything)

Recorded by Stephen Agustin and Keegan Curry in various spaces including ADX, Flora Recording and Playback, The Fourth Wall’s practice space, and Stephen’s apartment.
Produced and Mixed by Stephen Agustin
Mastered by Adam Gonsalves at Telegraph Mastering

Album Artwork by DB Amorin

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The Fourth Wall Portland, Oregon

Melodic noise-rock from Portland via Hawaii.

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