1. |
Interrupts the Dream
03:49
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All that I wanted was you
Destroyed
So much that all I’d do
Was hold you
With every rage you return
In dreams
What interrupts the dream
Becomes the dream
Thought you were the enemy
I recreate you endlessly
All that I wanted passed through
Your glance
To fall like a thousand tears
That hold you
Close to the heart or bursts
The dream
What interrupts the dream
Becomes the dream
Thought you were the enemy
I recreate you endlessly
I recreate you endlessly
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2. |
Never A Part
03:57
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I walked through your house
While everyone’s asleep
Thumbed through rows of books
Filled with words I couldn’t read
Wondered where you are
When trouble finds your dreams
Too afraid to ask
What our resonances mean
I never wanted you to be
So far from me
You can change the words you speak
Not the blood you bleed
And if you turn away from me
You’ll never be a part of whatever they are
You’ll never be a part of whatever they are
You’ll never be a part of whatever they are
You’ll never be a part of whatever they are
Won’t you hold me close
So I can rest assured
That there’s no words to say
That undoes all the hurt
Or time enough to learn
Why my love for you returns
I never wanted you to be
So far from me
The world I had to give to you
Was always shattering
So I had to turn away
We’ll never be a part of whatever they are
We’ll never be a part of whatever they are
We’ll never be a part of whatever they are
We’ll never be a part of whatever they are
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3. |
Turn To You
04:56
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I turn to you
Who dream the right dream
I turn for the feeling
Truth for a shadow
For a shadow maker
I could dream forever
Scratch at the surface
All I could touch
Feel a resistance
Get caught in the rush
I can’t hold off for first causes
I need your malice fleshing out the losses
I turn to you
To be my devil
To inflict the first wound
Will you carry the dead horse
If nothing matters
But the way I shatter
I can’t hold off the wave of reaction
You’re all that’s left, grief over nothing
It’s a lost cause to know why I need you
I dream of your envy you’re the one I return to
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4. |
Can't Lose That Loss
06:05
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It would take some years to start looking back
Once I board that plane, there’s no faster engine
That will drive away the memory of rain
Against your window pane as you forget my name
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
If I hold you close for the last time
Before the memory survives
When I return to you as a stranger
There'll be no tears
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
Now that all is lost I can't lose that loss
There will be no tears for me, darling
Not for less than a memory
When I return belonging to an elsewhere
To an elsewhere
You could be all I need, but I won't let you in
You know you're all I need, but I won't let you in
This door was made for you, but I won't let you in
This door was made for you, but I won't let you in
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5. |
Darkness of Heart
04:01
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I could make this an elsewhere
And close my eyes
You don't need to love me
Just to get by
Might not be the real thing
But it's no lie
Opiate of the masses
I won't be left behind
When the vector curves westward
Scraping me clean
Will it take a whole lifetime
To return you to me
I can never tell
If I repeat what I repel
Become the heart of darkness to quell
The darkness just to start it all again
You'd think it's all history
It's not even past
You don't have to love me
For the ghost to last
I can never tell
If I repeat what I repel
Become the heart of darkness to quell
The darkness just to start it all again
When the light comes through the window
And ricochets
Off of your shoulder blades
And constellates
A new map of the cosmos
A new world at risk
Too near to be a fantasy
Too far to exist
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6. |
Grain By Grain
05:43
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Rise and fall
Water finds its level every time
It’s rising up
To swallow you in rivers
I see a shape
Bursting in gradations at the lines
I need the joy
To keep it all together
There’s a tide that carries away
Grain by grain
What exposed the fracture plane
To the tenderest rain
Or compressed the hour into
A crystalline sense that cuts its way to you
On and on
I turn into the matter you displace
So I need your love
To stay here for a time
It cuts a shape
In canyons stretched across the empty space
You hold a place
In a roar of afterglow
There’s a tide that carries away
Grain by grain
The fibers that light the brain
In an echoing pain
What compressed the hour into
A crystalline sense that cuts its way to you
A tear caught the light from a moonbeam
Crushed colors into a glance
I wonder what you were remembering
What turned ringing bells into hands
Marking out a space I can’t enter
A thought I must not understand
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7. |
Only the Joy
03:50
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I recall you had eyes just like mine
Leaving your memory took so little time
Only the joy passed through
Only the joy passed through
Glow through the panes
Dust on the glass
Light filled the room where I saw you last
Let only the joy pass through
Only the joy pass through
You won’t remember your arms outstretched
All I had to offer was a way to forget
I can’t wait
I can’t wait
I can’t wait until
Only the joy passed through
Only the joy passed through
Only the joy
Only the joy
Leaving the country, if I ran too fast
I lingered at the entrance where I saw you last
Only the joy passed through
Only the joy passed through
You might have loved me, if I gave you the chance
Repeating the moment the die was cast
I won’t rest
I won’t rest
I won’t rest until
Only the joy passed through
Only the joy
Only the joy passed through
Only the joy
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8. |
Conatus
06:41
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Your flowers are beginning to bloom
And I’m recalling the first time
You held me in your arms
Watching you drift to sleep
Light slowly filled the room
New love on the move
The world gets eroded away
When I hear you moving like water
Your waves crash at my shore
Hold me close before you let go
I will be waiting for you to come home
Scattered my desires
Out into the blue
Nothing holds a candle
It all returns to you
No one makes the world
The way you make it bloom
Longing to persist, love
Conatus built for two
Maybe the dream is dead
Even if I wanna keep believing
That you’ll return to me
I know you have a new love, babe
And I can’t change your feelings
With you my heart remains
If this is our last stand
Turn on Morel’s machine
For you I’d sing the swan song forever
Hold me close before you let go
I will be waiting for you to come home
If I’m loving you completely
Then I’ll love your desires
Even if it isn’t me, love
For whom you hold a fire
Go on light a candle
New love on the move
I will still persist, love
Conatus made for you
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9. |
No Daggers
04:07
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Must it always hurt
For the wheels to turn
Can I love you still without any daggers
When our plans go awry
And the end is behind us
The brightest moments will return forever
Will your hands find rest
Holding all that’s left
Of a face whose tears won’t let the grief remember
No one has to understand it all or forgive it all
When the codes reset forgetting all to save it all
I’ll still remember you
You’re my brightest one
I can’t give you up
This could be the ending
But you return forever
Living on the fence
Nothing to recover
Obliterate the stasis
You return forever
They’ll decode the flows
New regime of pleasure
But you’re my brightest love
You return forever
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The Fourth Wall Portland, Oregon
Melodic noise-rock from Portland via Hawaii.
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